Football transfer rumours: Chelsea to sign Real Madrid's James Rodríguez?

Potentially the highest-profile move between now and the end of the transfer window is that of James Rodrí­guez to Chelsea.
Apparently, Rodrí­guez’s family are particularly keen on moving to England – to the extent that they have contacted the press to share this desire with them – and given a player as obsessed with running hard as Antonio Conte is with parties and late nights, it is impossible to see what could possibly go wrong. But the attempt to do the deal is nonetheless “audacious”, as Real Madrid would like to sell whereas Chelsea would prefer a loan; punk spirit, never die.

Conte would also like to buy a left-back, and as such discussions are ongoing with Fiorentina with regard to Marcos Alonso – he would cost £17.5m. For his part, Alonso is not opposed to the idea, but is understandably reluctant to part from the most lusciously beautiful kit in football. Chelsea are also interested in Porto winger Yacine Brahimi, as too are Arsenal. Somehow, Everton remain “confident” that he will sign for them – on what basis is unclear – but with the player intent on leaving, they hope to reach a compromise somewhere between the asking price of £35m and their opening bid of £25.5m.

Nor are Chelsea finished there. Kurt Zouma is close to recovering from a horrific injury, so they would like to bin him off to Schalke on loan, so that he might rehabilitate there; no doubt Zouma feels deeply fortified by this touching gesture. Chelsea are not alone in their altruism; Manchester United are also getting in on the act, looking to relieve other clubs of their hard-developed young players.

The latest addition to the Old Trafford production line of homegrown talent looks like being Dominic Calvert-Lewin of Sheffield United, a 19-year-old striker who had a successful loan spell at Northampton last season and whose move to Everton fell through earlier in the summer; he would cost in the region of £1m, a small price to pay for keeping up tradition.

United are also looking to strengthen their first team, as José Mourinho continues to disprove the scurrilous allegation that he simply buys success wherever he goes. He would, it seems, like more height in his back-four, and with improving the tall players he already has apparently beyond him, is still keen on signing José Fonte. Fonte, it is said, has a gentleman’s agreement that Southampton allow him to leave should another club offer better wages – and what could be more gentlemanly than that? – so has asked them to honour it.

Mourinho would also like to sign Fabinho, Monaco’s Brazilian right-back, who has been discussing a potential move. “With the Champions League, it’s not bad staying at Monaco,” he generously proclaimed to widespread relief. “I’m not certain of staying, but at the same time, there’s more chance of me staying than leaving.” Counselling is available for those struggling with the suspense.

Finally for today, the excruciation that is Tony Pulis’ West Bromwich Albion are hoping to enter the market. In the first instance, Pulis’ fabled man management skills mean that his principal hope is that he get shot of Saido Berahino. “You’ll see in the next 48 hours, hopefully,” he replied when asked why one of his better players was on the bench.

Pulis will, though, soon become the latest manager to investigate precisely what it is that Nacer Chadli does, having agreed a club-record £13m fee with Tottenham Hotspur – one he intends to break immediately afterwards, giving Malaga £15.3m for Ignacio Camacho. “We’re the top team in the West Midlands,” he said. “And that’s where we want to stay.”